I’ve got a few minutes to burn and a few asks about how I think HoH could’ve been better so here we go:
1) Off the Annabeth and Percy chapters. They were the weakest part of the entire narrative, and took up valuable space that could be used to develope other characters.
2) Show their struggles through Piper. Not only does Piper need more development, but she has an item thay can show her events happening in other places. Imagine: Piper obsessing over her dagger, pouring over images of fire and acid air—watching Percy and Annabeth break. Watching them turn on eachother. The images breaking everytime at the worst moment.
3) Which leada into this: Jason and Piper. With Annabeth and Percy out of the picture, it’s up to Piper and Jason as the beta leaders/couple to take control. Piper counseling Jason on Nico, Jason speaking to Piper about Hazel. Both worrying over Leo and each other. Jason pulling Piper from particularly violent images in her dagger. Piper enacting damage control between Jason and Hazel/Nico.
4) Actually show Hazel and Piper bonding. Show them practicing magic. Show them without the context of their men. Show them stronge and afraid and spending nights talking about their pasts about their fears. About what they want to do when the war is over.
5) Get rid of the useless filler monster crap.
6) No magical hot makeover for Frank.
7) Also expand on the way the Ares/Mars conflict is affecting Frank. Are his moods swinging? Is he acting Greek or Roman at different times? How is he dealing with that. How is it affecting his relationship with Hazel? With Leo? Why couldn’t Ares!Frank have called Leo out on his shitty-ass behavior, instead of ‘teehee we both have gfs now lets hug’?
8) Get rid of that offensive peice of shit forced!outting of Nico’s queerness. How about this: Cupid makes Nico mentally experience it. He’s unhinged. AND GOES TO HAZEL TO FREAKIN’ TALK IT OVER AND ACTUALLY CHOOSES WHO COME OUT TO. And Jason wants to know what made Nico scream in so much pain, but Piper cautions him to use some tact.
9) Caleo doesnt happen. Leo goes to the island—sure. He gets blown to Calypso’s island after a fight with Piper over one of her character flaws and they act in-character and become friends. MAYBE. MAYBE THEY BOTH LEARN THAT THEY DONT NEED A BF/GF. AND THEN LEO GOES BACK TO THE SHIP AND MAKES UP WITH PIPER AND FRANK. AND EVERYBODY EXPERIENCES MEANINGFUL CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT Imagine that.
And there’s probably more stuff Im forgetting but w/e Im going to get something to eat.
Wait I did forget an important improvement:
10) More queer subtext and just text.
This is a lot of the shit I was griping about.